My Wife Cheated On Me
How Do I KNow She Won’t Cheat On Me? by Ask Rob! The Advice General
Hi Rob,
I am married for almost two years now and my wife has been talking to her professor a lot lately and they met a few time. I told her that I am jeaulous and asked her not to be so close to him especially she told me that he likes her.
I asked her if she likes him and she said no but she thinks he is interesting. She told me she has her right to have her friends. Do you think she is going to cheat on me? What can I do? I don’t really trust her now.
Best regards,
Johnny
Hi Johnny,
Well, I guess the honeymoon is over now and you’ve got to deal with the world as it now pertains to your marriage.
Join the club!
You’ve got to keep in mind the principles that keep a marriage alive:
Trust
Love
Openness
Faithfulness
Respect
Without these 5 things there really isn’t a marriage, it’s 2 people sharing a place to live, legally, and occasionally having sex.
Because a marriage consists of two individuals, each with their own personalities, interests and friends, you have to allow growth in those areas. If you try to control or suffocate your partner you’ll drive them away.
There is no room for jealousy.
At the same time, if your partner is playing by the rules as I’ll spell them out, there will be no problem with you joining them on one of their meetings. Your introduction to the professor should not be an issue.
You will each have your own friends but there should always be a level of access that is available for you, and your wife, to each other’s friends.
I see no reason why you can’t share an address book that has everyone’s phone number in it. You never know when an emergency can occur and you’ll need to have that number at hand.
At the same time, don’t be overbearing in your demands.
Trust demands that you let the other person have freedom.
Love means you put their needs ahead of yours.
Openness means that you can communicate about any topic, without the communication becoming angry, spiteful, meanspirited or turn into a full-blown argument.
Faithfulness means that, before anyone else, you put your spouse on your list of people to love.
Respect means that you won’t accuse without clear evidence of wrongdoing, you will always have understanding as to your partner’s actions and intentions.
So, this is what you do:
Ask your wife if you can join her for her next meeting with her professor, or have him invited over to your house. If you both trust each other this shouldn’t be an issue. If she doesn’t agree, tell her that you love her, but are insecure about the time she spends with the professor and being introduced, having time with the professor together with her, will alleviate your feelings of insecurity.
And don’t sweat it. Unless your wife has a history of being a cheater, I wouldn’t start thinking ill of her. She deserves to have her friends and her course won’t go on for ever.
Best wishes,
Rob
About the Author
Ask Rob! The Advice General
http://www.advicegeneral.com
** Rob is not a professional counselor, just someone that wants to help. His advice and opinions are his own and should be treated as advice that can be followed or ignored. **
He’ll give you the best advice his experience allows. And you’ll have someone that’ll listen to your troubles without being too judgmental. And if you don’t like his answers, just delete them!
My Wife Cheated on Me
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